User blog:JaphethMario/Santa Claus vs Headless Horseman. Japheth's Fictional Rap Battles Season 2 Ep. 3
You know what’s ironic about this battle...I can’t celebrate any holiday in this battle, but screw it. If the editing is mess-up well I apologize for that because I suck at editing: P. With that said, Happy Holidays everyone Santa Claus vs Headless Horseman is the third episode of Japheth’s Fictional Rap Battles Season 2. It features famous Christmas figure, Santa Claus, the ghost of ‘Legend of Sleepy Hallow’, Headless Horseman, Easter mascot, Easter Bunny, the god of desire, Cupid and the main antagonist of the ‘Friday the 13th’ films, Jason Voorhes in a 5 way holiday-theme battle royale. Location: Santa Claus :North Pole with his house, Headless Horseman: Some kind of creepy background with dead trees, full moon and fog Easter Bunny: Easter Island Cupid: Stock background of hearts Jaosn Voorhees: Outside the cabin Battle: ' ' Santa Claus Verse: Ho ho ho Santa Claus is coming to town, bringing up the best holiday With everyone putting up Christmas decorations early, pushing yours away I’m the leader of the Guardians, you’re just a Grim Tooth Fairy, so you better show me fear Or Santa Claus here to make you redder than Rudolph the red-nose reindeer Here’s a rap about 12 bars of Christmas, which you cannot hold a candle With me spitting sick burns like coal, and cold disses colder than the North Pole I’m friends with Baby New Year, always ending every year with a bang While after Halloween, follows a turkey who cause genocide in the land Your scary Halloween movies get less scary every damn sequel Jump scares only shock those who don’t know true horror like those creepypasta-reading people I bring Joy To The World by giving gifts to everyone and World War I peace You give everyone disappointment with your razor blades making their teeth bleed Headless Horseman Verse: This is Halloween rapping, so it’s best you don’t mess with me ‘Cause your disses are tasteless as fruitcake and they’re weak to my sweet rhymes like a pumpkin Your Home Alone sequels are more milked than any horror films Now I Stole Christmas’s microphone; now it’s the Hallow turn to win by spitting ill Santa is only jolly if he enslaves little people in his little sweatshop And claiming he’s the one who make presents, now that’s a true fact Never let your children to sit on his laps in the mall Or he’ll turn them into his ho ho hoes and they’ll Jingle his Balls And for those a demonize my holiday, deserves to put down to shame ‘Cause your blind to worship Santa who anagrams Satan in his name Not so innocent now, you red and white rob wearing dummy You make a mockery to the son from the heavens than the Easter Bunny *'Easter Bunny pops up in a hole and throes an Easter egg to Headless Horesman'* Easter Bunny Verse: Oh please Horseman, my celebration is superior and I’m putting you two to your end ‘Cause I don’t show another non-scary horror flick and Christmas Carol adaptation all over again Even Easter egg hunting makes your songs in your holiday simply a bore Forcefully giving treats to Jehovah’s Witness knocking down your doors First of all Santa Claus, you’re not nice you deserve to write your name in the naughty list ‘Cause every Christmas Silent Night you keep stalking on every little kid You got an island that’s name after your holiday that’s only known for plentiful crabs Bitch please my land is for known amazing work of art from massive heads made from rocks And it’s time to insult Horseman who got balls to lose his head Seeking revenge and killing mortals, his an official cliché undead Or maybe his just a Bone-head prankster, tricking his rival at night But he pushes his jokes too far with him ending Crane’s life *'A mysterious birthday music plays'* Birthday Cake Verse: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BITCHES!!! AND NOPE!!! THIS CAKE AIN’T TELLING A LIE!!! WHEN EVERYTIME YOU GREW OLDER THE CLOSER YOU WILL DIE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *'Birthday Cake gets shot by a heart shaped arrow'* Cupid Verse: It’s Cupid, stupid, god of desire, expert on finding your future date Well except for this virgin Playboy who will never put his carrot on his mate I will write you my greeting card and send right to you mother fuckers You need to flee away or before is too choco-late to get shots fired when I start a Massacre And you know what? This farmer needs to harvest some better flows I’ve heard better ghost stories in the campfire at Casper the Friendly Ghost And this time it is me who’ll get inside on Santa wife’s chimney ‘Cause she prefers my long arrow than your candy cane which is tiny and wrinkly *'Mirror breaks a reveal the background for Jason'* Jason Voorhees Verse: I thought Valentines was about a saint’s execution and not a naked baby Who created incest back in ancient Greek, and almost got fucked up his lady You better be serious on the bars I’m spitting, ‘cause this is not a prank from April Fools I’ll give you seven years of bad luck; nothing can save ya, not even clovers and Rabbit’s foot I give people more fear than Halloween, even with those vampires and witches ‘Cause they’re just lame costume dressed by little weird kids and sexy hot bitches And Christmas is the black cat from this group, ‘because it’s the most unlucky When your holiday is known for ruining Sonic the Hedgehog and Star Wars’ legacy Who Won?: WHO WON? Santa Claus/Christmas Headless Horseman/Halloween Easter Bunny/Easter Cupid/Valentines Jason Voorhees/Friday the 13th Category:Blog posts